What I’ve learnt

It’s been over a year since I last wrote a post.. and might I add – It’s been quite the year. Full of many wonders, discoveries, changes and challenges.
Yet, the biggest thing that has changed is my negotiation skills (with myself).
The questions I ask internally and externally day-to-day…
Is this really good enough?
Am I satisfied?
Can I go deeper?
Can I do more?
Why did I respond in that way?season
Mixed in with a subtle submission to the process of getting better. Not just for myself, but for the people around me. Did you ever stop to think as to who is watching you?

I came to realise as much as I want it all to be about me, it never is. The things we do now affect what we become and what we become influences everything and everyone. Including phase 3 of our development as a human race.

Let me take you back…

Phase 1 – Dependant on others. As a baby or child you can’t help but be dependant on the people around you to survive. To feed us, clothe us and shelter us. Granted, it was not always meant to stay that way. If you are an adult and have people in your life who you need, you will find out quickly that they may not need you in the same way & it hurts… A lot.
We can not expect someone to be responsible for us when all they can be responsible for, is themselves.

Phase 2 – Independent. <Insert severe growing pains here>
I found a comfortable rebellious streak in this phase of life. Usually it finds us in our adolescence years and the need to be independent from everyone and everything kicks in (because I know best and I have it all figured out). Phase 2 sometimes lingers for those who have been hurt or betrayed in their dependant years by others. Their inability to trust keeps them independent but rather than feeling disconnected from the human race, it is vital to be inter-connected. Which brings me to the most import phase.

screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-12-38-32-pmPhase 3 – interdependent.
Using the valuable skills you have learnt from your previous 2 stages. It is important to know your worth. Trust yourself and have people in your life that you can seek wisdom from that have what you are looking for in this search for meaning.

To get you must first give.

To give in an interdependent condition is to also receive. Which, in itself, is reassuring in a positive cycle we are on the right path with the right people. Once you change, you will find almost an automatic transition to have the people we interact with, change too. Sometimes by chance or progression, sometimes on purpose or by force.

We don’t try to become someones dependant, or disrespect their independence. But rather seek counsel from the experience of those who offer an equal and mutual respect for us and our worth. Co-existing.

There is something to learn from everyone. Some things that stick out to me in a particular situation; whether it be frustration, pure joy, love or anxiety means that it is something within me to learn about. Only I am having this experience and so I need to listen to that. The person next to me may not even realise it is happening because they are on their own path.

Interdependence does not work unless you are first strong enough in yourself to make your own decisions and go against the grain of what “everyone else” is doing to pursue your own purpose. Be different, be curious about your life. Figure out what brings you here and how you came to know those around you?

Every person that flows through my life has been a marker in my journey. I did not have to agree with them or match their enthusiasm for certain interests, but I did and still do, love all of them. They were either here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (or, of course, Facebook likes).

There is no good or bad, there is just me responding to it. Maturity comes once we can see things as they are. Life is a journey, walk the phases.

screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-3-22-28-pm

Mirror Images

love water bubble purple
“How can you show patience towards another,
if you do not practise it on your own?..

How can you show tolerance to those you love,
if you do not first forgive the mistakes you have sown?

How can you meet others where they are at,
until you have first allowed yourself room to grow?”

It all starts and ends with me.
My outreach is determined by the depth of my inner peace.
How much I accept myself – in all my faults.
Determines how much those around me, reflect back at me.

rush love

Simple… But Never Easy

I woke up this morning; Just on the other side of an event I have been shamelessly obsessedregistration with for the past few months… Emotionally, I experienced so many ups and downs (on a day to day basis).  Swerving and dodging to many contributing factors while ultimately holding onto my message that I wanted to present to this group of women.

When I woke up; I couldn’t help the humbling feeling of gratitude.

So much time has passed since I myself, felt hopeless and lost in the world. I wasn’t always wanting to empower others. I could barely even hold myself together let alone, carry any sort of message forward.
I remember most of all (during what would of been the darkest time in my life), putting a sign that really spoke to me that said…

“Life is Simple, but no one ever said it was to be easy”

At that point, what that phrase meant to me was; “What are you doing to get back on your feet this morning?”. Surrounded by people that enabled my behaviours to cover their own…  Also featuring many (many!) regrettable mornings from acting like a fool to impress people that I shouldn’t of cared for.
What this phrase meant to me back then was; forget the repetitive mistakes I was making and pick myself up one more time and carry on to the best of my ability.

girl on a beach soul searchingNow, with about 4 years distance between those moments. Mixed with a spice of soul searching and a renewed journey of love for myself and those around me – what this means to me NOW is;
No matter what life throws at me, I will persevere.

You see, no matter where you are in your life. If you are going through a steep learning curve, or barely hanging on. This rule will keep you in good stead because life is not easy – for anyone.
At different times in our life we get hit unexpectedly with circumstances. We are born into difficulties. World wide we see poverty, war, racism, discrimination…
Its not the circumstance that makes the man, its the way he views it.  Just remember why you are doing the things you are doing on a daily basis for & you can conjure the energy to put one more step in front of the other.

Are you simplifying? Or complicating?

Take a birds eye view and try and relay a few simple rules for what you are wanting to get out of today. If all you need to do today is;

Walk outsideGo for a walk and get out of the house – than go for a walk.
If you need to go to work – than go to work.
If you need to study for an exam – than study.
If you need to get more clients for your business – than go meet some people.
If you need to learn to forgive – than start learning from those who have had to as well.

The end result of these simple activities is where the difficulty may arise, but I promise you – it is more difficult to think about it than to actually do it.

So whatever you have planned for your life remember this one thing “Life is Simple, but no one ever promised it to be easy”

With Love,

xo

Empowered Entrepreneurial Women Karina McKenna

What Do You Do?

After an engaging conversation for a maximum of 20 seconds, Maximum.. (no joke)
I always get asked that question;  So…. What do you do?
Not, Who are you? What are you about?

conversationWhat DO you DO?
(Anyone else relate?)

So, I decided to really think about this…

Life is not defined by the job you get paid to do. Or, by the circles you hang out with.
In my case, the best way to put it is this; I am a person of many talents. I enjoy being creative. I enjoy laughing with my friends. I also enjoying hanging out on the coach with my husband equally as much as when we are out meeting new people. Which brings me to point.

What do I do?

I make the imaginary, a reality.

The majority of my time is spent unlocking people’s hopes and dreams. Asking them questions that no one has been able to conceive. I am in the business of asking the questions that change a mediocre life, into a hopeful life. One that makes people open their eyes and awaken to infinite possibility. Awakening unto their purpose.

Now, I just explained what I do. Not, who I do it with or how much I get paid to do what I do. It is irrelevant.already defined

“Love what you do and do what you love. ” – Ray Bradbury

So many people are unhappy with where they are at the moment because they have not DEFINED what it is that they are doing. They attach themselves to the corporation, the people they work with or even the job title. There is no identity in doing that. You will never see yourself as anymore than the label society has given you if you do not define yourself. Only you can be the one to decide to do that.
To understand what it is that you do, look at the thing that makes you happiest when you are doing it. Life is a journey of finding happiness. What makes you happy?

So I will ask one more time… What Do you Do?

finding self

What is Fear Anyway?


Ever experience a feeling that stunted you from moving forward?
It feels so real that you cant help but get warped up in the very essence of it. The Bermuda triangle of your inner self.

Some call it fear.. What is fear anyway?

Fear is an idea built up in our mind/s.
It’s an inability to successfully comprehend something because you have yet to experience it.
It is your mind solely holding you back.
Yet it holds so much power in our world… Why?…

False Evidence appearing realWhat does FEAR stand for?
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real

The mind is a powerful thing.
It is structured to work for you in complex situations. It is a computer composed of data images and experiences up until this point.
Look around you, whose experiences have you computed that are not your own?
What TV shows are you watching that you are starting to take on a more realistic comprehension in your own life?
Are you surrounded by drama?

I was at the gym the other day; and I started to get into a fearful state. Everything in my body seized up and my performance dropped because I could not let go of this idea that what I was experiencing was going to be painful. Rather than take each moment as they came, my mind procrastinated and acted ‘safe’.

Do you know what the end result was?
I knew I could do better!

I knew that at the time, my mind gathered all this information of;
You are not as good as;
you shouldn’t;
this will hurt if;
blah blah.

Until I got to the end and realised; it isn’t that bad!

“My fear was overcome by doing”


Now that I could place a logical experience onto of it; it wasn’t so bad. I could do it again – and even better this time!

So what is fear anyway?
Inexperience.

Face your fears. release yourself from fear
Fail, do it again – better!
This is where the ultimate growth in life comes from.

Priorities ~ streamlined

Sitting in the shower, I was doing what I do best.. Contemplating! shower
In my head, all the time! Contemplating… Ticker, ticker, ticker, ticker.

As normal as this is to many of my female friends world-wide, it came to me that I had been doing a little too much of it! So much so, that it wasn’t serving me at all. Constant chatter, back and forth with no third-party input can only lead to one result:
Self centeredness.

So, I jumped out of the shower – half soaked, and called a mentor of mine for some guidance, (and frankly, just to get that inward obsession – out!).

Relieved by the cheerful sound of her voice on the other line, we continued to have a conversation about the last few weeks and how I was indeed, falling short of being my best, today.

But Why?
Because in a downward spiral motion, my priorities of focus had gotten mixed up. And what I believed to be important, was in fact… not.
What was important, was being dragged further behind me, more and more each day. Which resulted in a weight of the world sitting on my shoulders and a heavy self reliance that was fuelled by fear (false evidence appearing real)

So what is important?
Pebble StackYour relationship with yourself, your relationship with your God, your relationship with your fellows.
However it may be that you go after any of those things, is a personal matter. Meditation, prayer, creative writing. It doesn’t matter! Everyone is different. Do whatever it takes to quieten down that inner struggle to allow you to see the outward opportunities.

I put it to you dearest readers:
What priorities are you pushing aside for a short-term fix?
How can we all best delegate time to better ourselves?

Time

timeWhat is time but a perception?

I hear people answer with it.
I hear people use it as an excuse.
I understand that sometimes it feels that there is a lack there of.
But in what way can we actually control it?

Is time nothing but an essence?
It can be wasted, it can be put to good use.
It can be strategically calculated. Or it can be abused…

Observing time.
I find myself pondering…

What have I done with my time that is any different to everyone else?

There was a time, when I wanted to be further away from my youth.
I wanted responsibility, I craved and yearned for respect because I was under the impression that only time could give it to you.
Yet, time to me now is slipping away..

Stepping into a new season, the first day of Autumn.
A new chapter.
I wonder, what is time going to reveal to me next?

Time allows us to grow. Time displays patience with our mistakes and allows us to mend.

My dear readers, let us open our hearts to the possibility that time, this time around – is for us!time-reveals-everything

– Forever, Express ❤

Inspired by:
“For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night”. Psalm 90:4