What I’ve learnt

It’s been over a year since I last wrote a post.. and might I add – It’s been quite the year. Full of many wonders, discoveries, changes and challenges.
Yet, the biggest thing that has changed is my negotiation skills (with myself).
The questions I ask internally and externally day-to-day…
Is this really good enough?
Am I satisfied?
Can I go deeper?
Can I do more?
Why did I respond in that way?season
Mixed in with a subtle submission to the process of getting better. Not just for myself, but for the people around me. Did you ever stop to think as to who is watching you?

I came to realise as much as I want it all to be about me, it never is. The things we do now affect what we become and what we become influences everything and everyone. Including phase 3 of our development as a human race.

Let me take you back…

Phase 1 – Dependant on others. As a baby or child you can’t help but be dependant on the people around you to survive. To feed us, clothe us and shelter us. Granted, it was not always meant to stay that way. If you are an adult and have people in your life who you need, you will find out quickly that they may not need you in the same way & it hurts… A lot.
We can not expect someone to be responsible for us when all they can be responsible for, is themselves.

Phase 2 – Independent. <Insert severe growing pains here>
I found a comfortable rebellious streak in this phase of life. Usually it finds us in our adolescence years and the need to be independent from everyone and everything kicks in (because I know best and I have it all figured out). Phase 2 sometimes lingers for those who have been hurt or betrayed in their dependant years by others. Their inability to trust keeps them independent but rather than feeling disconnected from the human race, it is vital to be inter-connected. Which brings me to the most import phase.

screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-12-38-32-pmPhase 3 – interdependent.
Using the valuable skills you have learnt from your previous 2 stages. It is important to know your worth. Trust yourself and have people in your life that you can seek wisdom from that have what you are looking for in this search for meaning.

To get you must first give.

To give in an interdependent condition is to also receive. Which, in itself, is reassuring in a positive cycle we are on the right path with the right people. Once you change, you will find almost an automatic transition to have the people we interact with, change too. Sometimes by chance or progression, sometimes on purpose or by force.

We don’t try to become someones dependant, or disrespect their independence. But rather seek counsel from the experience of those who offer an equal and mutual respect for us and our worth. Co-existing.

There is something to learn from everyone. Some things that stick out to me in a particular situation; whether it be frustration, pure joy, love or anxiety means that it is something within me to learn about. Only I am having this experience and so I need to listen to that. The person next to me may not even realise it is happening because they are on their own path.

Interdependence does not work unless you are first strong enough in yourself to make your own decisions and go against the grain of what “everyone else” is doing to pursue your own purpose. Be different, be curious about your life. Figure out what brings you here and how you came to know those around you?

Every person that flows through my life has been a marker in my journey. I did not have to agree with them or match their enthusiasm for certain interests, but I did and still do, love all of them. They were either here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (or, of course, Facebook likes).

There is no good or bad, there is just me responding to it. Maturity comes once we can see things as they are. Life is a journey, walk the phases.

screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-3-22-28-pm

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Igniting the Passion

Where does Passion come from?
Why do some people have a zest for life whilst others compose a state of exhaustion from every day living?passion
How do we live with passion?

Vital questions that get you living a life by design rather than by default.

Design – (noun) a specification of an object, manifested by an agent, intended to accomplish goals.

Default – (noun) in the absence of opposition or a better alternative.

So there you have it! Default and design consist of one little difference. Goals!
The intention of writing down what it is you want. Let me draw a little more attention to the last two words of the last sentence – YOU.WANT.

Not, what others want from you or what your parents intended for you. No, what you want. Your specific gifts and passions in life which come alive when you take the time out every day to meditate on them. 

eg.
Serve
Create
Inspire
Love
Focus
Build
Preach
Teach

Whatever it may be for you ! Write them all down and look at them every day.
Go over them to really see (not just look at) what is within your heart. You see, everyone’s answers will be different. So if you can feel them as they move from pen to paper, then they can manifest into your reality. (It’s already within you to do so)
There are plenty of distractions out there turning you away from your calling; 

TV
Radio
Work
Music
Traffic
Billboards
Internet
FACEBOOK! (Argh!)

It is so easy to lose focus! There is a million things a day trying to take your focus and put it onto theirs.
So be bold! Be deliberate in focusing on the matters of your heart as much as you can get distracted by the next thing.

I happen to be doing mine right now!
Curled up with a bunch of feather blankets on an overcast day, pillows supporting my head and laptop cradled closely on my stomach as my fingers allow the rhythm of my heart to do the typing… Passion! It is created by doing the things that make you most happy. Most at peace.

So, how is it that we lose that passion? … By living out someone else’s dream & goals.

Depression – severe, typically prolonged, feelings of low spirits from loss of hope or courage.

When its hard to find the courage to face the day, generally it comes down to a series of days when you haven’t been living authentically for yourself. Life gets much easier once we reach out and take a risk on ourselves. No, it is not selfish. Selfishness is the inability to be happy for someone who has found peace in their life because you haven’t found yours.

So how can you ignite the passion?
writingStart by finding 20 min to sit down and ask yourself – what do I want my life to look like?

The answers we seek are already within us….

Much Love & Peace xo