Mirror Images

love water bubble purple
“How can you show patience towards another,
if you do not practise it on your own?..

How can you show tolerance to those you love,
if you do not first forgive the mistakes you have sown?

How can you meet others where they are at,
until you have first allowed yourself room to grow?”

It all starts and ends with me.
My outreach is determined by the depth of my inner peace.
How much I accept myself – in all my faults.
Determines how much those around me, reflect back at me.

rush love

Vulnerable

I was recommended the other day by a spiritual healer to allow myself to become more vulnerable to  be of better use to myself and others.

In true form; I got literal and wanted to define what that actual means?

vul·ner·a·ble

Adjective
  1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
  2. (of a partnership) Liable to higher penalties
vulnerable watersRight… So how does that relate back to you or me? Like anything we experience that is different or uncomfortable, it is in essence a courageous act of faith.
To be responsible for everything that has happened in my life so far, to accept the penalty of honesty in all my affairs.

No matter what the cost.

My mind tells me,

it would come at the cost of:
Division from people who don’t understand.
I would be judged, neglected & misunderstood.My heart whispers to me:
(In reality) People will respect you for being yourself. You will be set free from the very thing that holds you back and your honesty may just help heal another individual who has experienced a similar event.


With closed mouths, we encounter a generation of closed hearts.

strength in vulnerability
Vulnerability starts with the courage to move pass the ego and pursue a genuine life. Rather than worried about how people will see you, start to look at how people see themselves through you. Any reaction is a direct reflection of the person opposite you. Only you have te power to feel judged or misunderstood.

Time to get vulnerable…

If it’s meant to be… It’s up to ?

When I was a teenager (freshly shifted out of home), I had a belief that the world was my oyster; That I was ‘king ping’ of the environment around me & that everything worked its pace around me. –Self centred and destructively blind to this belief, I made a whirlwind of steps behind me–

Back then, I believed:
If it was meant to be, it was up to – my parents, my teachers, my employers, my family, my neighbours, my boyfriend.
Anyone, but Me.

When I was reminiscing on this arrogance… The thought made me reason as to why I was like this. Why I believed at that time that people/ ‘the world’ owed me.
It didn’t make sense. I was a ‘nice’ person to everyone I met at face value… Why? Because I was in pain. I was uncomfortable in my skin. I never believed I had the power to stand up from the crowd and live a dream that was my own. I was always searching for more and could not settle for what was right in front of me.

What was right in front of me?… What is right in front of all of us!
The journey of life!
That one being “If it is meant to be, it’s up to – ME!”

Not found in external fixtures, alcohol, drugs, people, lovers or matters of substance, but rather – matters of the heart. What’s inside of you – your soul, your spirit, your desire. Your relationship with the creator of the universe. Your plug-in to the source of all power. Your substance, full of wonders. That can not be found within anyone (IN THE WORLD) but you. How great is that! You are beautifully created to be ONE of all kind.

So what is the desire of your heart? Which direction has your feet fell upon time and time again and yet, you let your mind and your circumstances hold you back.

We are so powerful. Yet try so little. Society has settled for mediocrity because, as we say here in Aussie – ‘nobody likes a tall poppy’.  May as well be saying: ‘No body likes to feel inadequate’.

To quote a strong and powerful women that I admire to the end degree:

”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

Shine brighter. Live Larger. Because; if it’s meant to be, it’s up to – ME.

The more I don’t know… The more I grow

It gets harder to write when you come to the realisation that you really don’t know much at all…. Yes, I have a collective opinion of the world around me (as I have experienced it) but, the more I know… The more I don’t…. This one thought came through me like a flash. Short but holding an everlasting feeling as I heard the inner voice whisper…

‘It’s time to Grow Up now’

I remember the words so vividly… As I shortly after, admitted out loud  that I hadn’t given my all in this department.
How I came to this realisation?
I started a nightly activity with my partner, which includes reading to each other out loud. Not just any old books either; books of benefit. Self development books written by credible authors who have taken the rough roads and had their own life mapped out as ‘what not to do’ for their readers.

As we took turns turning pages, it gave us time to reflect on;
 – What was being said,
– What it means in our life,
and;
– How it relates to the road ahead.

Think about it. It’s quite brilliant actually! It isn’t just two people trapped in their own world denying the painfully obvious – It is the truth in between your own knowledge and another’s. That place that has no room for ‘stories’ to manifest and take up residence.

This is an outline of what brought on the theme of this post;

Characteristics of an Immature Person:
1) Living in the Immediate.
2) Short on discipline.
3) Dominated by Emotions.
4) Limited knowledge without knowledge of Limits.
5) Operating from a Sentimentality base, not reality.
6) Sexually Absorbed.
7) Identity Sensitive.

Now, for a girl who has overcome a lot of personal obstacles and experienced an immense amount of growth over the last two years as it was – it was a hard blow to still be able to relate to 5 out of 7 of the above!

So, here’s what I DO know: I have an ability to act mature at the right time. I have an ability to be immature at the wrong time. I’ve recently learnt how to be content within myself but! In all honesty – I wasn’t wanting to change at all. I had a willingness but I had no walk to match the talk. Just because I knew how to ‘act’ a certain way for the majority of the time, I thought I was doing ok. The rest is just ‘human nature’… Right?

Dearest readers, ‘OK’ isn’t the quality of life we are called for. We are called to make a difference. To be the difference. To be above the average and push through the boundaries. Just because we have read the manuscript – does not mean we are right for the part. Who are we but our own main character in our story? Why try to play another role when it is your own that makes you grow.

“I see far too many good people with big dreams who want to upgrade their lives that unfortunately have yet to master the basics of a daily routine. You must be accountable to yourself and be consistent if you want to upgrade any area of your life. Do not be one of those positive speaking people who is a complete inconsistent fool. We all have the ability to be better than that. Plus we owe it to the people we ‘Quote’ to, to put some actual effort behind the words we are repeating from them. My heart hurts when I see people who are completely fooling themselves.” Dean Kosage

In closing….
I really don’t know… But  – It’s Time To Grow Up Now.

Those Magical Words that Say ‘I’

I’m Sorry.

I was wrong.

Your right.

Lets face it, these phrases are not uncommon to ridicule in a society that has fought for their own rights, beliefs, rules and regulations. If everybody thinks they are right than everybody must be right… Right?

The power of admitting your faults to another can rebuild relationships that seem far beyond repair. It can also remake an emotionally sheltered wound. By admitting that you have been wrong and having had no ulterior motives – you can assuredly rebuild a bridge that has been broken. Words of the heart connect you to another. We all have senses that can tell sincerity from manipulation. Feeling like you want to remake a wrong is important in communicating to another.

I feel hurt

I feel sad

I feel bad

These ‘feel’ words express the raw emotion to another person as to what is really going on for you. Without the ‘I feel’ statement – you are imposing too much onto the other person. (e.g) “I feel upset because we havent spoken in a while”. As opposed to “You haven’t spoken to me in a while”. Sense the difference?

Choosing these sort of words to reflect your emotions is important in getting the right reaction. Too well I know of the ‘foot in mouth disease’. Where you just cant quite seem to get the words right. I used to have every good intention in the world but I never knew how to take responsibility for my own words and actions. In learning how to curb this behaviour, my relationships around me have curbed with me in a better direction.

If you can relate in some form to this: Try these forms of communication – only reflecting how you feel without doing another persons thinking for them. Take responsibility for the feelings you have and you have alone. No one ever makes you feel a certain way  – People never do anything to despite you, then do it for themselves. Once you learn that, you can build stronger relationships at home, in the work place and when creating new relationships in your everyday endeavours.

To understand people is to understand; where you stand in life, where you want to go and how you want to go about it. Communicating in the right way can also get you there quicker and more effectively. Always be more open to learning about what YOU can do rather than what ‘THEY’ have to do.

I feel I have reached the conclusion of my blog post and I wish that all that I have learnt within myself can help many more to come.

Until Next Time – God Bless

Hearing the Heart.

Dearest readers, one thing better than writing (for me) is hearing what others have to say. My opinions are merely a collective total of little bits and pieces in which other people have inspired me to write about. Yes, I have my own opinions, emotions, thoughts & actions taken from all of the above. However, the biggest lesson that I have received from all my outside teaching is simply this:

You have to hear the message first rather than the words that describe it.

Everyone has been brought up differently. We have all been taught with different beliefs, defense mechanisms & emotional boundaries. The classic quote of  ‘Don’t judge until you have walked a mile in their shoes’ sums it up. We really can’t judge another at all. We never see the heart ache, pains and lessons that have been taught along the way. When you start to get to know another you develop some form of compassion for where they may be coming from – but you never know the full story like they do.

In moments such as these, I enjoy putting the student cap on and letting my mind open to another persons world views and beliefs. This rule of thumb applies so widely to everyday relationships – hearing what’s been said not just the way in which is said. In my humble opinion – Everyone of us came from the loving father that is God. We were all born with these abilities to communicate in our own individual ways and yet we can so easily get mixed up with trying to be understood rather than trying to understand.

Over the past few years I have opened my mind to friendships and people who were exact opposites to me on the outside, but when listened to, were almost similar on the inside. In opening my mind to this new probability, I have become well aware of when the heart is speaking rather than the exterior that is being generically produced. I can see the difference between what’s been taught & the real person within. Everyone’s heart breaks, is prone to anger, jealousy & rage. But we don’t all display the same behaviors in relation to that emotion.

Hear the real message of the heart.

I am not a big sports fan but I am well aware that, when one of my sport fanatic friends inform me of detailed scores n replays – it is their way of including me into their world. I hear that invitation & so I sit to listen to the message. I may not fully understand the words, but I acknowledge it.

Seek to understand your fellow-man and give them the time of day to understand who you are. When the heart talks over the head, it is such a beautiful moment that it can feel like heaven on earth. Everyone’s life is a search for some form of understanding – a place to belong. Why not give somebody else that benefit today. You must give to receive. Seek to understand the real message, from the heart – Not just the delivery – And not just seeking to find out how it affects you. Seek to understand the real person inside….

Sharing The Pain – 4 – Long Term Gain

So many things in life are put off because starting something new is harder than continuing to do something you know is short of enjoyable. Fear of the unknown- The uncontrollable environment – The unpredictable. It can be more exhausting left inside your imagination, than it is to take action against it!

What I’ve found, dearest readers, is that by sharing the pain – you ultimately create a new path for long term gain. In sharing the experience with a loved one – you can make the unknown into a happy memory for future events.

On a very basic level – Take my attempt at Bikram yoga a few weeks ago.  This was not something I was thinking of enjoying. Old thoughts told me : Being stuck in a sauna with 30+ sweaty, slighty stinky, stretching strangers. Concluding thought —-Ahhhh- pass!!

However, I was placed in a situation of joining a few new friends with my better half so we could all share in this new experience and due to the fact that I enjoyed the company so much – I agreed.

This prior agreement broke through my original negative thought pattern and made it into a positive social outing. The sweaty strangers were still involved but by having a known source with me- I laughed, giggled, marveled at the awkwardness of my uncoordination & somewhat enjoyed myself – which in turn, made me stick the pain out. Then, low n behold- within a few short hours – I felt like a million dollars  & was ready to terrorize my next goal!

On a more emotional level – Another negative belief used to be one that was very deeply built within me. I used to truly believe that you can only rely on yourself at the end of the day. That you have to look out for number one and number one only, cause everyone else is just there to use and abuse you for the privilege. Let me follow that up by admitting first hand, just how wrong I was. With a belief like that you miss out on all the good stuff! You miss out on the connection, love, laughter n trust of others. Trusting another to show your vulnerable side is much more daunting than a room full of sweaty strangers – but much the same as my bikram experience – once the awkward transition is over – you will feel the difference & every time you go back, it will become easier n easier.

Sharing a part of who you are is nothing to ever being ashamed of. That part may have a face colored like a side of beetroot after 90 minutes in sweltering heat. Point being, it is still you. Share yourself with others to enjoy a long term friendship, partnership, fitness n well-being. It’s too easy to hide behind what we think people want us to be.

Dearest Readers- The thought I wish to leave you with is: What pain/hesitation are you experiencing today that could be solved by the help of another. Reach out- touch somebody and feel the long term investment that you can make within that connection.

God Bless