Ever looked back and wondered how you got here?
In day-to-day life we all make tiny baby steps. Some, hopeful that they will give you the intended outcome. Or otherwise completely blind to its effect.
3 years ago I had reached an all time low. My daily actions were ones based around selfish motives, lies and prideful actions.
I had to change… Not because I wanted to, or even because I had the capacity to do so. Everything to that point that I attracted into my life had an expiry date. I was consumed by self-pity, ego & as a result, I had a daily drinking problem.
So why ‘3 years’?
“We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are.” ― John C. Maxwell
3 years ago, I admitted that I was powerless over alcohol – understanding that my life had become unmanageable.
3 years ago, I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
3 years ago, I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God – As I understood him.
That day, I can recall as yesterday. The day I stopped poisoning my body, my mind & restored my soul. I finally saw the destruction it was causing not only myself but, through those who I was supposed to love the most.
I could no longer hide the pain because my pain had leaked out onto those around me.
Now, do not be fooled by my simplicity to recall it. This was not an overnight matter. There was no white light. There was hard work ahead.
Do you think that, on day 1 – I knew it would last?
No, I didn’t. Because I had made that promise to myself many times before that I was going to turn over a new leaf, and frankly, I couldn’t see past the next few hours let alone the next few years.
So what changed?
Small microscopic baby steps of faith… Day, after day, after day – turned into strength.
Small acts of bravery week, after week, after week – turned into courage.
Acts of selflessness & a regard for my fellows month, after month, after month, turned into a reincarnation of a person I used to be.
But it was not I who did this…
As much as I would like to take the credit, I refer you back to the beginning paragraph – ‘I turned my will and my life over to the care of God – as I understood him’
This is not a religious God, this is a personal relationship with the creator of all beings.
That God shaped hole within me – within all of us – decided to vacate for a permanent resident.
I knocked. He answered.
A year later, I met my soul mate.
One year & 9 months later, we moved to a different state together to start a new business venture.
Two years later, we were engaged.
Short of three years later, we are happily married & almost inseparable!
I do not tell you this to impress you, but to press upon you the importance of recognising the local miracles that are still present in the world around us. We like to focus on the negative when the negative is the only reason we see the positive. Without hurt, without pain, without conflict, we could never truly appreciate the peace, love & appreciation of weathering a storm to see a new crop in bloom.
So before you turn to God and blame him for the devastations of this world, remember that every flower has to pass through its seasons. We don’t necessarily have to understand why. We just have to ask “Why Not?”
Thank you for sharing in my 3 years of miracles with me… Too close: