Mind Games

“Do you believe in me? Do you question the path once took?
Do we really know if this is our fate, or if another route could wonderhave worked out… just as good? ”

Comfortable slides past desire, because it’s all too consuming. Choosing the ease and easy rather than the fire. Hosting a fabulous mess, our emotions rock us into new dimensions. One moment you thank your lucky stars & the next you want a recount and a new judge..

The trick is to keep moving, plan your next step forward. Looking back is too daunting.
Your mind will tell you, you are wrong. Your heart in a moment of heat demands you to be strong.

“I’ve got to let go of this mess, this troubled space that tells me it’s a nest.
There is nothing there to nurture~ no food, water or flavour. Only oceans of despair.”

make believe love hurtThe space where there once was, sits only a voice that echoes. No living person. Yes it is fun to wonder into a land of make-believe, until you realise it’s not living, its a disease. A mental conspiracy.

Costly Comparison

Walk out on the street. What do you see? Everything outside of me. What I am compared to you. What I lack next to you.
walkinhWe walk a path and come to be, comparing ourselves against everybody.

What we hear
What we know
What we see
Billboards and Facebook scenarios.

“You can be better — You should live like this”
Everything screams comparison. Til there is no room left for us…

We all want the world to see, what I decide for it to be.

Love, life, glory & achievements.
Disappointment, rants, trolling and sadness.
Consistently drawing attention away from what we need in actuality.

ponderingIt begs the question;
Why not start by being kind
– to the face looking back at me.
– to the person I am yet to be.
– to the soul mate who deals with my highs and lows.
– to the friend who may genuinely need my help.

What we give out we get. If you can’t accept yourself. How do you begin to love someone else?
Who we are, what we become. Starts with an acceptance of the darker part of ourselves.

Be kind
Be true
Be a light in the darkness
Choose hope
Choose love
You are perfect.

Be kind
Be true… To you…


Mix it up

Hamster Getting a Workout on Spinning WheelNearly everything we do is habit. Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, go to sleep – repeat. Only 40 – 45% of our daily thinking is conscious. What we eat, how we dress. Most of our decisions are unconscious. Habits.

I don’t know about you but I have always gotten a little bored by the idea of ‘ground hog day’. Nothing puts a dint in my spirit more than getting on the spinning wheel and getting told to run pointlessly without reason – because someone else said that it was just ‘what you do’. Normal, yuk. Following the same daily pattern with no real end goal in mind.

What happened to me this morning was small but significant enough to spark a feeling of satisfaction. So, what happened to me this morning?
I mixed it up!
My usual routine on the way to the office took a slight turn and I found myself in a new alley way grabbing my morning cup of coffee Mix it up Coffee spots(habit) but with a different set of teeth smiling back at me! A refreshing change of connection and unfamiliarity.

In essence, what I didnt realise my spirit was craving – was a new experience! As small and insignificant as it may sound, it still gave me a huge sense of gratification.
In your own home town, in your own world, without travelling overseas or taking a holiday – you can create new experiences everywhere you go, every day. Make it a new habit of creating new experiences everywhere you go and you will never be stuck in the spinning wheel.
It’s a choice!
Meet new people.
Ask those people new questions.
Find out more about others and you will find out more about yourself.

It’s such a beautiful world we live in but as I look around me, I see death. I see people who have adjusted to someone else’s rules about their life. I see a conviction of depression and hopelessness. What a deceptive perception. We are never stuck to press repeat on our lives until the day we die or retire.
We can Mix it up!! – turn your comfort zone on its head.
Find yourself.
Re-create yourself.
Say hello to a stranger. Smile.
It’s the small things that you do that make the biggest difference. Mix it up!!!

recreate hope



Mind Matters

hard workoutFor those of you that have ever had the privilege of a one-on-one personal training session / boot camp / crossfit style workout, you would be aware of the fact that the mind has a habit of quitting a thousand times over before the body will.
I personally have experienced this many times over! Before I even head out the door (especially on a rather cold day), my mind is telling me to quit. It takes a real discipline to keep going sometimes. To shut off all conversations in your head convincing you why you should not go and continue in the abyss of why you got started in the first place.

Spending an intensive 10 days in Fiji that only served liquid meals for the first 4 days – made me appreciate this aspect from a totally different level. How sensitive we are to what we think we know about life.

The stories we tell ourselves that restrict us from truly moving forward carrying the weight of;
I would, but…
I wish I could, but..
I am just not…

Our “I Am” statements, that allow us to quit before the journey has even begun. Who do you tell yourself you are? As soon as you look into the mirror to wash your face. We all pause and stare intensely at the slightly puffy reflection standing before us.MirrorReflection
I am …
The most important 3-5 words you can start the day off with.
My question to you; Are they encouraging or are they demeaning?

Are you setting your day off on a high or loosing your grip before the day has even begun?

Chances are, (if your anything like me) some of the stories you tell yourself need to change. I learnt this in my 10 day trip across the big blue. I wasn’t demoralising myself, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was too passive in my approach to who I was going to be each day. If not for the benefit of myself, than for those around me.

I put it to you my friends,  Go write it on your mirror who you want to be daily. Make it a must to live a glorious life, not just one that goes with the motions. We are called for so much more (if you have the courage to live it full-out).

I am a Goddess of LoveScreen Shot 2013-11-27 at 1.54.18 PM
I am a Warrior
I am Strength
I am Courage
I am a Leader

Who do you really want to be?

With purpose, Express

3 years

Ever looked back and wondered how you got here?

In day-to-day life we all make tiny baby steps. Some, hopeful that they will give you the intended outcome. Or otherwise completely blind to its effect.

3 years ago I had reached an all time low. My daily actions were ones based around selfish motives, lies Masking selfand prideful actions.
I had to change… Not because I wanted to, or even because I had the capacity to do so. Everything to that point that I attracted into my life had an expiry date. I was consumed by self-pity, ego & as a result, I had a daily drinking problem.

So why ‘3 years’?

“We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are.” ― John C. Maxwell

3 years ago, I admitted that I was powerless over alcohol – understanding that my life had become unmanageable.
3 years ago, I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
3 years ago, I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God – As I understood him.

That day, I can recall as yesterday. The day I stopped poisoning my body, my mind & restored my soul. I finally saw the destruction it was causing not only myself but, through those who I was supposed to love the most.
I could no longer hide the pain because my pain had leaked out onto those around me.

Now, do not be fooled by my simplicity to recall it. This was not an overnight matter. There was no white light. There was hard work ahead.

Do you think that, on day 1 – I knew it would last?
No, I didn’t. Because I had made that promise to myself many times before that I was going to turn over a new leaf, and frankly, I couldn’t see past the next few hours let alone the next few years.

So what changed?
Small microscopic baby steps of faith… Day, after day, after day – turned into strength.
Small acts of bravery week, after week, after week – turned into courage.
Acts of selflessness & a regard for my fellows month, after month, after month, turned into a reincarnation of a person I used to be.

But it was not I who did this…

As much as I would like to take the credit, I refer you back to the beginning paragraph – ‘I turned my will and my life over to the care of God – as I understood him’
This is not a religious God, this is a personal relationship with the creator of all beings.
That God shaped hole within me – within all of us – decided to vacate for a permanent resident.

I knocked. He answered.

A year later, I met my soul mate.
One year & 9 months later, we moved to a different state together to start a new business venture.
Two years later, we were engaged.
Short of three years later, we are happily married & almost inseparable!

I do not tell you this to impress you, but to press upon you the importance of recognising the local miracles that are still present in the world around us. We like to focus on the negative when the negative is the only reason we see the positive. Without hurt, without pain, without conflict, we could never truly appreciate the peace, love & appreciation of weathering a storm to see a new crop in bloom.

So before you turn to God and blame him for the devastations of this world, remember that every flower has to pass through its seasons. We don’t necessarily have to understand why. We just have to ask “Why Not?”

Thank you for sharing in my 3 years of miracles with me… Too close:

Screen Shot 2013-01-24 at 2.49.04 PM

Lost moments

If I could say one thing, it wouldn’t be “I’m sorry”. If I had one last moment, I wouldn’t stay.

If we saw each other again, my heart would still be full. But if we had our time again, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I look back only to look forward. I want to make sure you’re ok. Sorry wouldn’t cover the hurt. Apologies can’t rid the pain.

When forced to speak, nothing is to be said. Time has been unfair.
Some things pass us by, no matter how many questions are fed.

Without you my life went into a whirlwind – but To be fair, it started off that way.
Chances are you’ve forgotten who I am. Chances are you wouldn’t recognise me anyway.

I’m not hiding behind the mask. I’m not masquerading the pain.

Representing my life to that point we met. Vulnerable, destroyed yet so beautiful.
Everything I had reflecting everything I couldn’t have.

If I could say one thing, it wouldn’t be I’m sorry. If I had one last moment, I wouldn’t stay…