What I’ve learnt

It’s been over a year since I last wrote a post.. and might I add – It’s been quite the year. Full of many wonders, discoveries, changes and challenges.
Yet, the biggest thing that has changed is my negotiation skills (with myself).
The questions I ask internally and externally day-to-day…
Is this really good enough?
Am I satisfied?
Can I go deeper?
Can I do more?
Why did I respond in that way?season
Mixed in with a subtle submission to the process of getting better. Not just for myself, but for the people around me. Did you ever stop to think as to who is watching you?

I came to realise as much as I want it all to be about me, it never is. The things we do now affect what we become and what we become influences everything and everyone. Including phase 3 of our development as a human race.

Let me take you back…

Phase 1 – Dependant on others. As a baby or child you can’t help but be dependant on the people around you to survive. To feed us, clothe us and shelter us. Granted, it was not always meant to stay that way. If you are an adult and have people in your life who you need, you will find out quickly that they may not need you in the same way & it hurts… A lot.
We can not expect someone to be responsible for us when all they can be responsible for, is themselves.

Phase 2 – Independent. <Insert severe growing pains here>
I found a comfortable rebellious streak in this phase of life. Usually it finds us in our adolescence years and the need to be independent from everyone and everything kicks in (because I know best and I have it all figured out). Phase 2 sometimes lingers for those who have been hurt or betrayed in their dependant years by others. Their inability to trust keeps them independent but rather than feeling disconnected from the human race, it is vital to be inter-connected. Which brings me to the most import phase.

screen-shot-2016-09-15-at-12-38-32-pmPhase 3 – interdependent.
Using the valuable skills you have learnt from your previous 2 stages. It is important to know your worth. Trust yourself and have people in your life that you can seek wisdom from that have what you are looking for in this search for meaning.

To get you must first give.

To give in an interdependent condition is to also receive. Which, in itself, is reassuring in a positive cycle we are on the right path with the right people. Once you change, you will find almost an automatic transition to have the people we interact with, change too. Sometimes by chance or progression, sometimes on purpose or by force.

We don’t try to become someones dependant, or disrespect their independence. But rather seek counsel from the experience of those who offer an equal and mutual respect for us and our worth. Co-existing.

There is something to learn from everyone. Some things that stick out to me in a particular situation; whether it be frustration, pure joy, love or anxiety means that it is something within me to learn about. Only I am having this experience and so I need to listen to that. The person next to me may not even realise it is happening because they are on their own path.

Interdependence does not work unless you are first strong enough in yourself to make your own decisions and go against the grain of what “everyone else” is doing to pursue your own purpose. Be different, be curious about your life. Figure out what brings you here and how you came to know those around you?

Every person that flows through my life has been a marker in my journey. I did not have to agree with them or match their enthusiasm for certain interests, but I did and still do, love all of them. They were either here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (or, of course, Facebook likes).

There is no good or bad, there is just me responding to it. Maturity comes once we can see things as they are. Life is a journey, walk the phases.

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Mirror Images

love water bubble purple
“How can you show patience towards another,
if you do not practise it on your own?..

How can you show tolerance to those you love,
if you do not first forgive the mistakes you have sown?

How can you meet others where they are at,
until you have first allowed yourself room to grow?”

It all starts and ends with me.
My outreach is determined by the depth of my inner peace.
How much I accept myself – in all my faults.
Determines how much those around me, reflect back at me.

rush love

Inertia – Break the Barriers

hit a wallEver felt like you hit a wall?
Tired… Frustrated… Completely over thinking about what it was that made you get started in the first place?
Ever thought to yourself – it would be so much easier to throw this in the ‘too hard’ basket. Things aren’t that bad anyway. Why would I need to change my circumstances…..

Yep, I’ve been there too!

But lets stop for a moment to think about this so-called ‘wall’ that I had been faced with… There was no physically presence. I couldn’t touch it. It was only felt – Ahhh! Ok, It was just emotional.
I could work with that!

So in conclusion; the wall I was experiencing was not a wall at all! It was merely a new area of existence within my own spirit that I was yet to explore…  AND if I took another few steps back….. it was actually coming to the edge of its borders. The end of its existence. Creating new habits for myself was tiring because it was redoing everything within me that I had been doing for the last 27+ years!

You see; (I had come to realise that) By default, my unconscious behaviors try to keep me where I am at. What I had really come up against is a simple scientific law of physics; I hit my inertia.

Inertia comes from the Latin word iners, meaning idle, sluggish.
The principle of inertia is one of the fundamental principles of classical physics that are used to describe the motion living_in_a_bubbleof objects and how they are affected by applied force. Or lack there of for that matter.

Newton’s First Law of Motion states that an object not subject to any net external force moves at a constant velocity. Thus, an object will continue moving at its current velocity until some force causes its speed or direction to change.

How interesting this new discovery was to me!
In a microwave generation that we live in. Everything evolves so quickly around us that we expect a matter of success to be the same. We want our goals NOW. We want to have a new car NOW. A new house. A better work / life balance. Why? Because I read a book that said the law of attraction says that if we think about it – it will happen! RUBBISH!
Our world might be changing but the laws of the universe were forever printed in the stars.

So yes,
Things take TIME to change.
It requires EFFORT
It means we wont always FEEL like it.
working hardIt means there will be times when we want to QUIT
& You better believe that YOU WILL BE TESTED to make sure you are worthy of the things that you are going after.

Why?
Because our basic instinct is to return to the space from which we came. Our comfort zone of laziness & to be honest with you – insignificance.

But hold tight, because the miracle is a few more steps into your discovery.
When we learn that the law of resistance is a good thing. Then there is nothing to stop us moving forward.

Break the barriers.
Break the motion that you are stuck in.
Break the inertia that is holding you where you are at!
Keep. Moving. Forward.
Until the momentum of your actions breaks the inertia! Leaving it with no choice but to follow the direction is which you are going.

Here’s to Living a Life of Significance!
With Love, Express

Mind Matters

hard workoutFor those of you that have ever had the privilege of a one-on-one personal training session / boot camp / crossfit style workout, you would be aware of the fact that the mind has a habit of quitting a thousand times over before the body will.
I personally have experienced this many times over! Before I even head out the door (especially on a rather cold day), my mind is telling me to quit. It takes a real discipline to keep going sometimes. To shut off all conversations in your head convincing you why you should not go and continue in the abyss of why you got started in the first place.

Spending an intensive 10 days in Fiji that only served liquid meals for the first 4 days – made me appreciate this aspect from a totally different level. How sensitive we are to what we think we know about life.

The stories we tell ourselves that restrict us from truly moving forward carrying the weight of;
I would, but…
I wish I could, but..
I am just not…

Our “I Am” statements, that allow us to quit before the journey has even begun. Who do you tell yourself you are? As soon as you look into the mirror to wash your face. We all pause and stare intensely at the slightly puffy reflection standing before us.MirrorReflection
I am …
The most important 3-5 words you can start the day off with.
My question to you; Are they encouraging or are they demeaning?

Are you setting your day off on a high or loosing your grip before the day has even begun?


Chances are, (if your anything like me) some of the stories you tell yourself need to change. I learnt this in my 10 day trip across the big blue. I wasn’t demoralising myself, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was too passive in my approach to who I was going to be each day. If not for the benefit of myself, than for those around me.

I put it to you my friends,  Go write it on your mirror who you want to be daily. Make it a must to live a glorious life, not just one that goes with the motions. We are called for so much more (if you have the courage to live it full-out).

I am a Goddess of LoveScreen Shot 2013-11-27 at 1.54.18 PM
I am a Warrior
I am Strength
I am Courage
I am a Leader

Who do you really want to be?

With purpose, Express

Simple… But Never Easy

I woke up this morning; Just on the other side of an event I have been shamelessly obsessedregistration with for the past few months… Emotionally, I experienced so many ups and downs (on a day to day basis).  Swerving and dodging to many contributing factors while ultimately holding onto my message that I wanted to present to this group of women.

When I woke up; I couldn’t help the humbling feeling of gratitude.

So much time has passed since I myself, felt hopeless and lost in the world. I wasn’t always wanting to empower others. I could barely even hold myself together let alone, carry any sort of message forward.
I remember most of all (during what would of been the darkest time in my life), putting a sign that really spoke to me that said…

“Life is Simple, but no one ever said it was to be easy”

At that point, what that phrase meant to me was; “What are you doing to get back on your feet this morning?”. Surrounded by people that enabled my behaviours to cover their own…  Also featuring many (many!) regrettable mornings from acting like a fool to impress people that I shouldn’t of cared for.
What this phrase meant to me back then was; forget the repetitive mistakes I was making and pick myself up one more time and carry on to the best of my ability.

girl on a beach soul searchingNow, with about 4 years distance between those moments. Mixed with a spice of soul searching and a renewed journey of love for myself and those around me – what this means to me NOW is;
No matter what life throws at me, I will persevere.

You see, no matter where you are in your life. If you are going through a steep learning curve, or barely hanging on. This rule will keep you in good stead because life is not easy – for anyone.
At different times in our life we get hit unexpectedly with circumstances. We are born into difficulties. World wide we see poverty, war, racism, discrimination…
Its not the circumstance that makes the man, its the way he views it.  Just remember why you are doing the things you are doing on a daily basis for & you can conjure the energy to put one more step in front of the other.

Are you simplifying? Or complicating?

Take a birds eye view and try and relay a few simple rules for what you are wanting to get out of today. If all you need to do today is;

Walk outsideGo for a walk and get out of the house – than go for a walk.
If you need to go to work – than go to work.
If you need to study for an exam – than study.
If you need to get more clients for your business – than go meet some people.
If you need to learn to forgive – than start learning from those who have had to as well.

The end result of these simple activities is where the difficulty may arise, but I promise you – it is more difficult to think about it than to actually do it.

So whatever you have planned for your life remember this one thing “Life is Simple, but no one ever promised it to be easy”

With Love,

xo

Empowered Entrepreneurial Women Karina McKenna

Vulnerable

I was recommended the other day by a spiritual healer to allow myself to become more vulnerable to  be of better use to myself and others.

In true form; I got literal and wanted to define what that actual means?

vul·ner·a·ble

Adjective
  1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
  2. (of a partnership) Liable to higher penalties
vulnerable watersRight… So how does that relate back to you or me? Like anything we experience that is different or uncomfortable, it is in essence a courageous act of faith.
To be responsible for everything that has happened in my life so far, to accept the penalty of honesty in all my affairs.

No matter what the cost.

My mind tells me,

it would come at the cost of:
Division from people who don’t understand.
I would be judged, neglected & misunderstood.My heart whispers to me:
(In reality) People will respect you for being yourself. You will be set free from the very thing that holds you back and your honesty may just help heal another individual who has experienced a similar event.


With closed mouths, we encounter a generation of closed hearts.

strength in vulnerability
Vulnerability starts with the courage to move pass the ego and pursue a genuine life. Rather than worried about how people will see you, start to look at how people see themselves through you. Any reaction is a direct reflection of the person opposite you. Only you have te power to feel judged or misunderstood.

Time to get vulnerable…

Methods, Rather than Results

We as a generation enjoy the microwave effect. In and out – fast. Speed wins over quality. Right?..slowing down in a fast paced world
Does this mean we get the result we want?
Maybe temporarily; but what I have found is it is not durable.

“As quick as it comes, it can be taketh away”

If we truly are on a journey of ‘discovering self’. No matter which way we choose to go about it; wouldn’t it make better sense to look for pipes to build a water system rather than blow up the side wall of a dam?

In this I refer to “Looking for methods, rather than results”…

Be curious about the way in which you are doing something. Study, Learn, grow. Take an interest in what ‘success’ looks like to you – (draw attention to) singular, YOU.  Not what the world says is successful.

For example; My success will not come at the price of my happiness. So therefore, I look up to and chase mentorship with those who have a peaceful heart and a soulful mind. Those who have had the courage to face their own personal battles, all the while keeping their values in tact without manipulating or trying to ‘fast track’ the process.

“Fall in Love with the Journey; not the Destination”

methods for changeThe more I watch these sorts of people, the more I see that there is a seasonal change for all things. It is not in my timing; it is divine – & it is also when I am ready to let go.
The more I am struggling; the more I am not accepting of the change that is occurring within me. The methodology in that provided me with an attitude change, not an environmental one. Everything is happening for a reason; so what is it this time? –The answer always came down to me.

‘You never know how close you are until you completely break through it’

Friends, its great to have a big picture mentality. In fact, it’s a necessity! But rather than focusing solely on what result you are getting. Look at the fruit on the tree. Look beyond the frustrations. Look beyond the here and now. Look at you. You are the method. It’s your life. You are the thing that is experiencing all these emotions and feelings. Be a method worth following. Be a method that you would respect seeing from someone else.

Express x