Real Love ~ 5 years

I met a guy once. He made me feel whole. He made my face crinkle. He made my stomach feel full. His wit was full of wonder. His eyes sparkling grace. This blue-eyed assassin was attempting to take my heart, from our very first encounter.

With a subtle look, I see all that he needs. To only I, he seemed so easy to read. Loyalty like no other, bound by magnificence and stature. He was no longer looking anywhere but through the eyes of my soul. Having nothing more than a cheeky grin, to use as a spell. Channeling my inner child. My inner freedom. Words fail to explain the way that this was always meant to go.

Fear kept me bound a little while. Praying to God one night. I asked him to allow me to surrender. To be enlightened by life’s biggest wonder. To understand what love was all about. His response, much to my delight.
Enter stage, Dominic Alexander McKenna…

“It’s not the yearning you get the first thing in the morning. It’s not something that knocks you about. It is however, a feeling of forever, It’s a peaceful kiss that endures the weather. It’s a feeling of without you I go nowhere. It’s the reminder of what put all the universe together… Having no rage towards any dismay, because our love is so much deeper than having to have the bed made.

Love comes softly. Wraps its arms around you regardless of whether you feel like talking. It beacons you to be better, pushing you outside your level of comfort… ever so slightly. It manages to trick you into believing, you were always created to do better. Affirming day by day all that has grown, all that we’ve sown in that which we accomplish together.”

5 years today, we’ve spent figuring out: All the good & all the bad. All that makes us feel proud – Visions, dreams and goals. All that makes u feel sad – Nightmares, weaknesses and potholes. Yet nothing comes close to the journey we were always meant to walk together. Hand in hand, heart to heart. Every day is a fresh start. From the moment we met – I knew it was a day that I could never again forget.
You will always, Dominic McKenna – be my forever.

DomKat McKenna

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#NoRegrets

We struggle with life, expecting things to happen in a certain way. Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 8.07.30 pmYou swear, you pray. You feel that life has to turn out “this kind of” way. Something is missing. Something isn’t right.

Time passes, the mindset still remains the same. What was put in your path while stuck reminiscing, was always meant to stay. Not the thoughts twirling through the mind. Hopeless dreaming. They in fact, were the ones that had to die. Moving you into a new dimension. A new version of you was born, ever so easily. So slowly, that you didn’t notice until it was too late. Fate acting on your behalf. Until you were strong enough to carry your own weight.

Time changes. Feelings waver. What once was, never stays the same. The only 2 things that matter is: How much we loved. How deeply we tried. And how quickly we let go of those things that hurt us. No longer serving us.

We are 2 of the same. 2 souls. 2 beings. Trying to live. Whatever you are doing right now – feel it. It was always meant to be this way.

surf wave#NoRegrets

Mirror Images

love water bubble purple
“How can you show patience towards another,
if you do not practise it on your own?..

How can you show tolerance to those you love,
if you do not first forgive the mistakes you have sown?

How can you meet others where they are at,
until you have first allowed yourself room to grow?”

It all starts and ends with me.
My outreach is determined by the depth of my inner peace.
How much I accept myself – in all my faults.
Determines how much those around me, reflect back at me.

rush love

Hope Happens

Ever felt like you were in a rut that you couldn’t see a way out of? Ever had a bad day that you felt was a little all too familiar? Waking up to the same mess, worry or defeat?
Ever heard someone tell you; ‘If you are going through hell, you may as well keep going?’

Everything that has ever changed the course of my life; or the life of anyone that I know has made a drastic change has started with one crucial thing. One special ingredient that made a detrimental difference in the way we might act, think or behaviour. That one thing I found was ~ hope.

talk_to_dogH – Hearing
O – Other
P – Peoples
E – Experience

Why you might ask was this such a crucial ingredient? In my experience, it was the only thing that opened me up to a possibility that things could be different. I accepted defeat at such an early age and I switch off to the world around me. I engraved a code of conduct about myself which I called ‘my reality’. My view of the world ~ the beliefs I had about all people, relationships and even myself. All backed by daily actions (or lack there of) that proofed the very existence of these beliefs.

Then, when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to – I experience some pain. Emotional, physical & eventually some serious spiritual pain. The only thing capable of pulling me out of this insanity was HOPE.
Being in a position where I accepted that I didn’t know enough to listen to what someone else has to say – (But most Importantly!) someone who I respected. Someone that has the life I wanted to live. Not someone who gives out opinions with no joint consequence in giving it. Not someone who would run me down & justify it with a comment such as “I was just being honest”. These kinds of people are not your friends…

God, the power of the universe, the ultimate creative intelligence – whatever it is called to you. Let me tell you, it speaks to you through people. Everyday people. Everyday.
And whether you know this or not; all goods things come from this power. The rest is free will and our own individual consequences. We are giving all the answers we need if we are able to be quiet enough to hear the message and the signals of life.

How much are you listening?listen

What Do You Desire?

I have a question, that could change your life. He says confidently.
Smug  & a little Abruptly.

I lean into the whisper as its given so softly.
“Little one, Oh doubtful one… With all this pain enclosing….
Tell me, What do you desire?….”

A breath of free air surrounds me. An answer from me to whomever it may be,
Erupting Chaotically, I say..

“I was born to write. To rhyme with the universe. To move. To flow in its majestic rhythm. Words touching spaces that have yet to be created. It’s a freedom found in a piece within me.

I want to dance, to live life loving others. Flowing through them like a river running deep. I can feel the Water rising as the moon guides me feet.

I desire to stand out. To be one of my own faces.
Hold my hand out to those with the courage to restore balance to the forsaken. Strengthening a world of captivity. Giving out keys to those that believe.

 I want to live a life, with desire that is flowing…. Incessantly….  Perpetually!!”

Confused and amused. In turning to go, I see a smile left in the breeze… I am all alone.
I can’t believe I knew the answer all along…

Then another person walks up to me and I cant help but say…

So, tell me dear fellow… What do you desire?

Whole

Sitting down on the coach in my living room, I was admiring the child like play of our kitten “Marble”. In a feline’s finest, Marble was rubbing up against my husband and playing with his hands like a feather to his favourite toy.

WholeIn this moment I smiled… but more so than ever before.
This time I smiled from the inside – out, and a tear began to form as Gratitude protruded the surface of my being.

I had just captured a moment in the stillness of my grateful heart. A moment in life when all things seem whole, just and complete. Slowing down for just a moment as you hear your inner voice echo “Thank you”.

Thank you for the obstacles you had to overcome – just to get to this very point.

These are the moments, that make life worth waiting, hoping, wishing, loving, hurting, fighting & living for.

Whole soul

Never give up on a hope of seeking a whole heart.

Express x

Humbled

An experience, may be an episode that changes your outlook in life. It may come to you in many forms.
Obvious, with intense emotions & heavy awakenings.
Or it may not have been realised until after the experience is over and you look back realising the change.

Have you ever had an experience released to you in another vision of sight?
As though your mind, your spirit and your soul were joining… Almost aligning .. to show you an image of what was happening in your life at that same moment that you tuned in?

This morning, whilst amongst strangers on the way to the office, I had some light music playing the background. The meditation of it soothes me and drifted me into a state of calmness, just being present in that moment – calm… fulfilled. Questions started to arise but they were overlapped with peace. An image, more powerful than my site came to me, it was the word:

“Humbled”.

Many people would see this as a state of being pushed down, almost a dirty word. They see it as a feeling they get when they are feeling low. They are small in a big surrounding of feelings, but true be told – they are still aligned with that feeling.

Suddenly, a clay master appeared – just his hands. Forming, recreating, breaking – moulding me.
Blessed by the experience, I allowed my shape to move and to get smaller in Grace of what the higher purpose of it all was – almost bringing tears to my eyes as though I was experiencing a death amongst my physical self. A new beginning and I was unsure whether the tears welling up were of grief or release…

What was I to lose?…

Ego, temperate and pride. The things in my life that my mind will allow me to play with and say that all the things I have are a result of hard work and sheer determination. Taking on all the responsibility for what successes and what does not eventuate.
What kept me more focused was the shape of the inner core, the smaller it became, the larger the glow of the external environment. It almost became a vacuum for all things pure.

So in fact, it had never really decreased in size, it just took on more blessings making it appear smaller to the sight of the mind.

Glowing… Never changing. It just accepted everything as is.

It’s hard to put into words what an experience truly means to one person compared to the next. It is difficult to explain, why you understood it so well. I guess that is why God works in all of us individually. No two are the same.

Which is why we are all so valuable. The image I saw today was a glimpse of what is inside us; the emotion, the beauty and the journey we must all face. The pain which gives us glory. The truth which sets us free. The denial that binds us. It all makes us and helps us mold to the shape of our destiny.

Be humbled enough to change, to grow and to set yourself free…